Excerpts

 

 “The room and all objects in it began to metamorphose. The light and colours flashed in synchronicity with the pulsations of my rapidly beating heart. As in psychedelic works of art, I began to see everything in inverse colours; blacks swapped their positions with whites, reds were flashing as green, blue as orange, and so on…  The forms and objects, including people, started to float in the air, losing their solidity, transforming into the abstract waves of radiant energy. It brought me to a critical point – the precipice of the great and scary Unknown. I was about to lose all understanding of everything. My mind, with all its objective knowledge and familiar perceptions, was about to detonate in one Big Bang!

 At this terrific moment, an inner voice appeared, a voice which belongs to that part of intelligence that protects the body and mind from death.

 This voice said: ‘Stop here! If you go any further, you may never come back. You have no knowledge of what lies ahead. You’ve never been there before. Without ‘knowledge’, you cannot know what is going to happen. It could be far more terrifying than Death itself, it could be total and irreversible insanity!!!’

 But the other, stronger (at this moment) part of me – a different type of intelligence – said: ‘Go! Plunge deeper into the Unknown, it is the only way back home. This is your chance! Don’t miss it. Be brave! I have seen all that is based on knowledge, and I am ready to go beyond knowledge. I am ready to die!!!’

 And so, I seized this tremendous energy of fear and directed it into the ever-expanding consciousness of the Self. In the next instant, I was catapulted out of the space-time continuum, or maybe it’s better to say: my consciousness broke through the illusion of four dimensions into the higher dimension beyond space and time.”

“These words of highest wisdom made a very deep impression on me. I immediately realised the immensity and importance of this highest truth. I understood completely and irreversibly that my Real Self, my Real ‘I’ is God-Absolute, apart from which nothing else exists!”

“To fully experience God as our true Self, we first must understand the nature of God – the Reality, and His/Her attributes. One of the most obvious quality of God is His/Her abundance. Everything comes from God, emanates from God, radiates from God. He/She is the exhaustless reservoir. He/She is the perennial flood of giving. He/She is limitless sufficiency.

 Would such a ‘Being’, who is the very source of everything, want something for Him/Her Self? And so, to be God we must possess God’s qualities i.e. radiance, shining, giving. And again, now, the highest profit does not come to us because we are trying to recover something that we lack or do not possess, but on the contrary; through the realisation that we ourselves are the overflowing fullness, showered from head to toe with Divine gifts!

 We should let this love out, we must learn to be open and allow God’s loving energy to flow through us, and not seek profit for our limited nature which we consider to be our selves. The best course here is to seek God’s will, attune to it and make it our own. ‘Thy Will be done’!”

” If one however, expects to receive only the bestowal of pleasures and happiness in exchange for one’s total trust, openness and acceptance of whatever is presented, one could be greatly disappointed that this is not always the case. On the contrary, one could be presented with increasing difficulties and harder lessons to learn. The roots of the lotus are in the mud. The deeper the mud the more beautiful the flower. The iridescent pearl is produced by the oyster, when it gets irritated by a grain of sand. Suffering is food for the awakening soul.”

“O, God!

How magnificent is this road towards death, called life!

Absorb it with your eyes, like a hot sand absorbs moisture from the sky.

Beauty needs your cognition.

As a child, she is waiting for your precious attention.

Music needs your grateful ears,

Flowers are searching for your eyes,

Fragrances are searching for your nostrils,

Tastes are searching for your lips and tongue,

Skin is thirsty for your touch.

Be a grateful receiver.

Do not reject.

Open your doors and breathe in Love.

Let every cell of your body be filled with Love.

When I am filled with Love I cry with Gratitude.

I am a crier of God.

I am a crier of Love.

How can I keep silence about my Beloved?

I am like a downpipe.

It was raining and I cannot keep even a drop of water.

Love is pouring out.

Love is bursting out with the flood of tears.’”         

“Little did I know back then the joy of the real adventure: adventure into the bliss of Self. And to be absolutely honest with you, there is nothing in this entire world and beyond, more satisfactory, purposeful, rewarding and joyful than knowledge and union with God, who is none other but your very Self. Those who plunge deeper and deeper into the depths of the inner dimensions, into the bottomless ocean of Self-mystery, discovering that there is nothing more beautiful in the seven worlds than the naked Truth! Only the real joy of Self-abidance can never be taken away, for the True Self is the Eternal Reality. True Self is the perpetual flood of excessive joy, love, wonder and creativity.”

“After some time, I went to the bathroom. Spellbound, I stopped in front of the mirror and my gaze was glued to my reflection. I was gazing into the eyes of my reflection, and also, through the eyes of my reflection, back to the space from where I was looking. I was realising with increasing clarity and growing love that the one whom I see in a mirror is my dearest friend. He loves me, for he knows me very well. He is the witness of all my highs and lows, all my victories and all my miseries, all my proud moments and all my shame, he is with me at every moment, and because of that, he knows the beauty and the goodness of my soul. I kept gazing into the reflection until all separating us layers dropped off and the one in the mirror revealed himself as God. I realised that it was God looking at me!  The next instant, a real miracle occurred: the mirror dividing us disappeared! I was standing face to face with God, when even the walls of bathroom, together with the sensations of the space-time continuum began to fade away. This was my first acquaintance with these sacred plant-teachers, who, as you will see from the further unfolding of this story, became my most powerful gurus, surpassing, with their unique way of teaching, the teachings of all external gurus. We will be returning again and again to the magical and the miraculous, to the unique language of chemistry and to the ability to unlock the doors of perceptions with the help of these incredible and very direct teachers.”

“Farewell the life that I knew for eight and half years, goodbye beloved wife and dear friends, I am grateful for your lessons, your love and friendship. Now the time has come for me to depart. I am choosing the long-forgotten, insecure and slightly frightening, but freeing unknown!”

“After a bewildering kaleidoscope of intense and fast visuals, reshaping of the complex geometrical patterns, dancing mandalas and yantras, I started to feel strong pressure on my third eye. It seemed that my eyes were turning 180 degrees in search of the perceiver, the source, the ‘I’.

 The next instant, my consciousness separated from body, and with great amazement I saw my body lying down on an operating table. Some benevolent alien ‘being of light’ performed an operation on my cranium. I felt an intense pressure on the top of my head, and the angel opened it up with a laser-light scalpel. Suddenly the pressure was released and dark clouds of thought escaped through the hole in my head into the either. My mind (brain), at this point turned upside down, and looked in the direction of my chest. The gravity of awareness moved down from my head into my body in the direction of the Spiritual Heart on the right side of my chest. I was penetrating the inner realms of the body and discovering the infinite cosmos within. The totality of my awareness concentrated on the region of my upper lungs. All sensations of the external world were switched off. Instead in the absolute silence of my mind, in inflating wonder, I was seeing the Angels realm! I was hearing the most captivating divine music of celestial musicians!

 Concentrating on the source, my attention continued to move down my chest and then slightly (two finger-widths) to the right side. I felt a very powerful electromagnetic field there and the strong pull of my attention from this place. The totality of my attention merged into the Spiritual Heart – the source of light, the source of ‘me’, and there, in this paradoxical singularity, I recognised my Eternal Home, as also I recognise that I have never ever left this wonderful Home.”

“Regardless through which portal one enters hell, one does not get surprised, or discovers anything that one has not seen before, but on the contrary, recognises this menacing spooky cold dark plane of reality, for it is very ancient, and one has been here a few times before. The most frightening realisation here is that this plane of existence is real and eternal! One has no doubt, when one is there, that regardless of how long one will be saved, if one escapes it, regardless of how long one can avoid it, the time will come when dark forces will claim one back into this petrifying kingdom. Despite of all one’s previous knowledge, heart-beliefs and even utmost conviction that Reality is Divine Love and Light, it doesn’t help one escape hell when one is in it! Hell destroys these convictions; it shows that they were untrue. Hell is very real. This plane of reality is as real as the life you are experiencing now. I even could say that it is more real, than this cosy earth realm, for the despair of the situation and the intensity of fear and attention to frightening details is far more pronounced, far more real in experience.”

“The sun was setting and we hurried back to our room, realising that in the near-darkness we could lose our way home. We went down the mountain, but paradoxically, after fifteen minutes or so of going down, we found ourselves at the very top. The mushrooms and the mountain were playing tricks with space. Suddenly Maya acquired a very interesting vision of reality. She calmly said, as though separate from her body and looking from above on our bodies: ‘Relax, she (the Earth) holds them (our bodies). Look,’ she said, ‘everything you see now is a landscape of your mind. It’s all within you.’ Surprisingly, her walk was firm and easy. I, on the other hand could hardly stand, and was often sliding and falling. The darkness surrounded us.

 We lost our way, but it didn’t matter at all, for we were in love, and this love was growing by the second. After climbing an almost-vertical wall at some point, and following some distant voices, we finally made it home and had many more beautiful and crazy days and nights in Novy Svet and Sevastopol.”

“Now, finally, I felt with the all fibers of my being: ‘I am in the real India and this is so wonderful. A totally different world.’ I could feel the joy all around and in my heart. ‘Yes! I am here in the wonderland! A new chapter of my life begins here.’ Impatiently my eyes were searching for the sight of majestic Arunachala. And there she was, rising high from the relatively flat landscape surrounding her: the center of the Universe! The concentrated into the Sacred Hill Shiva-Consciousness! Awe! Magnificent Arunachala! I was here, where I had always wanted to be. Waves of joy welcomed me to this unique place.”

“Relax your body and feel the quality of your inner space,’ says she. The effect of chanting was very powerful, almost psychedelic. It was the closest thing to a fully psychedelic experience with magic mushrooms. We chanted the Bija (seed) mantras: Lam, Vam, Ram, Yam, Ham, A, Aum, quietly and gently at the beginning, but growing in intensity, until finally we chanted with full power, and I felt that my whole being was the vibration!”

 “It is Vak (Word) which has created all the worlds. Saying though, that the vibration of sound is the origin of creation, would not be entirely correct and it would undermine the Truth. For on a highest level there are no differences between sound, visions, phonemes, or a thing in itself. The best description I can offer is that language on this highest level is the spontaneous movement, the spontaneous play of conscious energy. This energy – Shakti – the Shiva’s freedom, expresses itself as the unfolding of the Divine Alphabet. The phonemes and the sequences of Divine ‘speech’ are the creatrix of all that exists!”

“In Kabbala, tarot and ‘practical magic’ based on the knowledge of Hebrew alphabet, letters also correspond to numbers. Hebrew letters constitute a primary expression of the language and mathematics of spirituality. Magic spells are also the incantations of words, verbal formulae, which can have a magical effect, if charged with power and intention. The famous ‘abracadabra’ incantation is said to be derived from Aramaic and means: ‘I create as I speak’.”

“Mantras are not the combination of dead letters but the living energies – Sakties. All mantras get their life from the Divine Mother Kundalini! She is the center of all mantras!”

“The movement of consciousness towards its origin (the Singularity of the Spiritual Heart), is not the movement into the void proposed by many gurus. On the contrary, the movement of consciousness into its source is the movement into the states of greatest density of vibrations, density of energy. The movement towards the Heart’s Singularity is also the movement within the very compact relationship between opposites. Good and bad, black and white, hot and cold, male and female, yes and no, and all other pairs of opposites sits side by side in this compact intensity of experience.  The plunge into the Heart of Reality requires unshakable courage, unwavering trust, and unreserved willingness to die, to be squashed and annihilated by the tremendous density of the bliss-energy of Undying Reality.”

“The absolute openness of Reality means that one can never know it completely, can never stop wondering, can never stop discovering. To stop wondering is to stop the unfolding, to stop dynamism. The unfolding of Self-apprehension can never be stopped, for reality is infinite in its possibilities and that’s why it would be forever a mystery. As reality is infinite, so is its realisation. One cannot just arrive at the full comprehension and stop there. To comprehend it is like to put it in a box, to limit it. The full comprehension of its own totality destroys the element of newness, which is one of the most joyous aspects of Supreme Intelligence. The Absolute is newly born every instance. The never-diminishing, childlike wonder, astonishment and amazement at the fullness of its own abilities is probably one of the most exiting characteristics of Highest Reality. Supreme Intelligence is never without movement. It is the perennial surge of unconditional Love – the eternal fountain of excessive Joy, the inexhaustible source of creativity, always overflowing, always spilling itself out.”

“The Spiritual Heart – the Source – is the absolute paradox. When, like a quasar, agitating nadis and mind, it blazes outside, projecting the world appearance, there appears to be as many hearts as there are bodies. But when the rays of awareness are withdrawn from the external objects into the Heart, which at this moment becomes a super-massive black hole, one enters the Singularity, and the Heart is realised to be the One only. Heart is Thy Name O, Lord!”

“I loved India for its charity, its Prasad, its care for their holy men. We bought baskets of flowers, lighted incense sticks and lamp shades and sent our offerings with our prayers and chanting down the Ganga’s streams. We attended the aarati (fire ceremony) and basked in the streams of the Ganga with hundredths of devotees from all around India.  Ah! What a blessing to be here and bask ourselves in this atmosphere of Joy and Ecstasy. Our hearts swell with Divine Gratitude. Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Hari (Vishnu)! Thank you, Hara (Shiva)! Thank you, Shakti! We are prostrating at Thy lotus feet.”

 “Durgai introduced us to a small group of Nath yogis, who were gathering on the banks of the Ganga next to a small Shiva temple. I immediately felt an attraction and respect towards these Sadhus. I could feel the energy of wisdom, calmness and experience radiating from some of them. As one walks into a Sadhus’ gathering, it is almost certain that one will be invited to participate in the smoking of a chillum. And there it was. Boom Shankar! A nice inhale of a good charas and I immediately went into Kumbhaka and Samadhi. A few minutes later I took a few steps towards Ganga Ma, to splash her Holy waters on my body, and then… I stopped…

 My mind opened wide in the absence of thought, and became like an infinite, boundless, calm lake, permeating all and everything without any agitation whatsoever. I lost my ordinary particularised, focused vision, and discovered new panoramic vision without center or periphery.”

“After a few minutes of omnipresence, I returned to the sadhus’ gathering. One of them asked me if I had been inside the temple yet. Tara and I enter the Temple. A natural Shiva lingam is located here, around which this temple was built, and it emanates Divine Energy of such tremendous power that we simply cannot stand. We fall to the floor in a humble prostration.”

“This expanse of consciousness could be also called ‘sattva’ (clarity). In this state, one feels oneself as being all, containing all within one’s own body of consciousness. It is not the final stage of realisation however, for the perception of the world appearance can be experienced only at certain frequencies. If the frequency of cognition accelerates and expands, the habitual world appearance gets shattered by the explosion of intelligence, firstly into the perception of abstraction, until consciousness leaps into a higher frequency domain. This expansion of consciousness, and beholding all at once (the surface, the reflection and the depth of the lake of mind) is very closely connected with the idea of expansive Vyana (fourth Prana) permeating all and gleaming with consciousness. The quantum leap into a new frequency domain (parallel reality), in which the habitual world is not perceived, could be associated with the Udana (fifth Prana), which according to Upanishads, at the moment of Death, following the Sushumna channel, takes a virtuous man into higher realms of infinite reality, a sinful one into lower realms, and both a virtuous and sinful one into rebirth on the Earthly plane. Udana abandons the lower senses one by one, withdraws itself from the object of perceptions, radically interiorises and enters the mysterious Singularity point (Bindu) in the center of the black hole of one’s Spiritual Heart.”

“Rhythmic chanting of mantras with a full inhalation/exhalation cycle, followed by intense dynamic breathing leading to prolong repose in Kumbhaka (retention of breath) became my main practice in Uttarkashi. Deeper and deeper I was penetrating the mysteries of Prana with my practices of spontaneous pranayamas on the shores of Mother Ganga. Every evening we gathered with sadhus, where, after smoking chillum, I was sent into spontaneous Kumbhaka and Samadhi.”

“Through feeling poetry, one can look into the very heart of a poet, connect with the poet’s soul, and through the heart and soul of a real poet one feels one’s own heart, one awakes to one’s Love, which is always glowing within one’s beautiful heart. Real poetry, that touches and awakens souls, comes from utmost honesty with oneself. It comes from those, who know, or are in suffering, pain and contradiction, but who don’t moan and complain, but instead, turn this unbearable pain into love and gratitude. The lover is always searching for ways to undress Love, to strip all clothes and fig leaves from his/her beautiful Soul, for his nakedness is Beauty and the precious Gift. He searches for the most beautiful garland of letters to express his beauty. It often happens, that when he cannot find the appropriate words, unable to express his Love, he dresses himself in tears. These sweet tears are the messengers of his beautiful Soul, they are the pearls of Love.”

“To speak of God and Truth from the lower state of consciousness is a lie. At best it can be done only from memory. But the real satsang is the shaking off of conceptual reality, leaving behind the past with its memory and future with its imagination, stripping off the tight clothes of objective knowledge and abiding in the thought free Nowness full of God, Truth and Love. ‘When you are in love, where do you want to be? I want to be with my Beloved. Your Beloved is Here!’ The leader of the satsang needs to ask all gathered to help him/her with their attention, efforts and trust. The satsang is not about words, but about energy. Shakti (Supreme Energy) is the surest guide to Shiva (Supreme Intelligence).”

“Without closing my eyes, established in Bhairava mudra, I proceeded with the intense pranayama without any rest whatsoever for six hours straight. If you’ve done any practice of pranayama, my dear friend, you probably can imagine my expanded state after six hours of non-stop intense dynamic breathing, fuelled by the energy of seven hundred liberty caps!

 My body and mind melted in the ecstasy of Truth. I become the pure energy. My breathing itself transformed into streams of liquid Love – Divine Amrit. As Pranic energy, which at this point became a flow of liquid Love, was moving through the channels of my body, purifying all Nadi’s system and the space of my consciousness, she also forced my fingers move in certain patterns forming what is known in yoga as ‘mudras’ (seals). Together with the formation of mudras, my whole body went into the spontaneous formation of unbelievable yogic ‘asanas’ (postures). At one point this awakened Prana-Kundalini energy brought my body into the very unusual but extremely comfortable posture, which I can only compare to a sort of a rocking chair. I tried to recreate this asana next day without success. This shamanic trance with the spontaneous movements of my body and its parts forming yogic asanas and mudras, became a major feature of my mushroom journeys.”

“The Devil – ‘Baphomet’ – has harpy feet, ram horns, bat wings, a reverse pentagram on the forehead, a raised right hand, and a lowered left hand holding a torch. He sits on a square pedestal with two naked human demons – one male, one female, with tails – chained to it…

 The words ‘Fate’ and ‘Logic’ also refer to this arcana. The Hebrew hieroglyph of this arcana is ‘Samech’, that is ‘an arrow flying perpetually in a circle’. I thought of its significance as it is logic that keeps one within this circle, within the limited perception of the mind. It is logic that is the arrow, aiming at one, if one tries to escape the circle of limitations…

 In fact, as we will see further, our perceptions of the world and the events developing in time is largely due to our special type of cognitive process, based on the projection of restrictions upon unrestricted reality by our logic and our thought processes that are rooted in language.”

“Words cannot make such an impression and connection between two people, as chemistry can. One glance into the eyes of a very special person can trigger a huge chemical process, which can leave one unable to sleep. Some substances can open gates to overwhelming intimacy that one could never have imagined was possible. The knowledge we receive by the means of words cannot compare even an iota with the direct experience, which we can receive through the grace of sacred plants, and ‘spirit molecules’. The chemical language could be a key to unlocking the ‘doors of perception’ to the realms of reality far more real than our so ironically called ‘waking state’.”

“Just like Dorothy, picked up by the magical tornado, leaves behind a colourless world and finds herself in dazzlingly colourful Oz, filled with the bizarre elf-like munchkins, flying monkeys, witches, and unbelievable adventures, so it was with the inhalation of DMT vapour. The dim light of the so familiar world was switched off in a matter of seconds and a new brilliant psychedelic light of inner intelligence was turned on instead.

 Regardless of how masterfully and artistically one tries to describe this DMT world, our bleak human imagination in its ordinary condition is simply unable to transmit or grasp the true magnitude of this miracle.

 Wow!

 Who could ever imagine that such things are possible?

 What I am experiencing now is simply beyond belief and imagination!

 And all this is not projected from any external sources, but is a marvellous display of my own consciousness, the magnificent ability of my own, hidden ‘til this point, higher level of intelligence.

‘Hallucinations’- a sceptic would dismiss this experience in one ‘explanatory’ word.

 However, in comparison with the dim light of our familiar human world, the bright, astonishing, shocking DMT world is surely far more real.”

“The Lord of Infinite Intelligence was riding his rat-vehicle on what I can only describe as the waves of joy rising from the sea of knowledge radiating from his magnificent being and scattering dazzling sublime numbers, mystical symbols and letters of the Divine alphabet across this grand dimension.

 The sounds, rhythms and sequences of mantras I had never heard before were taking me deeper and deeper into the most secret mysteries of Creation. I was sure that they were unfolding directly from Shakti’s Supreme Intelligence, like a sacred password. The language was the vehicle towards the Source. This language led my consciousness into the Divine Ecstasy of the core of Infinite Reality, leaving all limitations pertaining to the world and body behind.”

“If Heaven and Hell could coexist, it would not be ‘coexisting Heaven and Hell’, but Hell only. The Divine Ecstasy of Shiva-Shakti is so dense that it presses all ‘secondary worlds’, with all their impurities, misery, unhappiness and evil forces, out of its perfect existence. Kaivalya is the liberation from the illusory, but nevertheless appearing real, prison of ‘secondary worlds’ and the returning to the pristine, unblemished bliss of Highest Reality –Absolute Freedom. When the ‘Hrt-granthi’ (Heart-knot), which bonds the spirit, lifeforce and body together, gets severed or untied, Kaivalya (liberation/isolation) is the result.

I would also like to illustrate the reverse process of development of Pranic Energy. It is said in the Bible that Adam (red) (Adamah = red earth/clay) became alive because God breathed his breath into him. ‘Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.’[1][JC1] From the mysterious Singularity, as the movement of God’s Energy (God’s breath), Udana comes into manifestation. She is expanding into the Universal Consciousness as Vyana, gets maintained (preserved) as Samana and then splits into the duality of Prana and Apana, as well splitting the unified Consciousness of the Prana-Mind into the unequal branches of mind and Prana. Through the battling forces of Prana and Apana, the lake of the mind gets agitated and produces all sorts of cognitive phenomena. From the Prana-Indra (Lord of the senses) senses (Indriyas) spring forth.

“The idea of becoming a sadhu and devoting the remaining span of my lifetime solely to the sacred efforts of union (Sadhana, Tapas) with Shiva – the Ultimate Reality, discarding all remaining attachments to worldly pleasures, was growing deeply within me. I simply stopped being attracted to anything but God. I wanted nothing, but union (yoga) with the Beloved. Only in knowing God and being consumed by God I saw fulfillment and satisfaction. Nothing else; not Earthly life with its fake values, nor delightful paradises could satisfy me, but only merging into the ecstasy of the Absolute Truth. What is there in this world that we haven’t experienced yet? Day after day, things just keep repeating themselves, with a degree of deviation, in some small and large circles.”

 “Longing for Truth no matter what, a willingness to die for Truth, the offering of the mind and soul into the all-consuming fire of Absolute Truth, humble endurance of the total annihilation of ego, are the ways to great liberation. I was ready to go beyond the point of no-return. As Papaji says: ‘If you go to a guru (spiritual teacher), you should not buy a return ticket.’ So was my resolve: to plunge all the way into the bottomless ocean of Divine mysteries, without reserve, burning all the bridges behind me. Scary, but the only way to the Beloved. What can a heap of snow do, but melt and evaporate in the presence of the luminous Sun?”

“The chief police officer was most definitely drunk and very arrogant. Apparently his father was the chief of police of all the Shimla region. It seemed to me that, while representing the law itself, father and son were standing above all laws. The other policemen didn’t even dare to argue, or question his commands. Making fun of us, he was playfully hinting that because he was the law, he could hold us in the police station for as long as he liked, possibly for week, or a month. My young friend was very tired and was drifting away into sleep, while I was listening to this buffoon, or answering his questions. He was surely delighted to have us to entertain himself. Noticing our guitars, he asked me to play something. I took my guitar and slowly began the most passionate and heart-wrenching, twelve-minute-long ‘Vanyusha’ by Bashlachev. He listened attentively, and when this song began to go into the most exciting crescendo, he became bizarrely exuberant, prostrating before me, and banging his fists on a floor. He kept repeating: ‘You are the fucking genius, you are the fucking genius!’. “

 “A polite young man approached us and asked: ‘Are you looking for Rajendra Puri Maharaj?’ Our jaws dropped in amazement! What? How on Earth? It was beginning of miracles! We had told no-one that we were looking for that person, and the town we were in now was apparently a good twenty to thirty miles away from our destination. ‘How can you possibly know that we were looking for him?’ we exclaimed in absolute astonishment.

 ‘Shiva sent me’ he replied, pointing his finger towards the sky! And the pure magic, where the unseen Gods and Divine forces roam, began to be visible, and their orchestration of our fantastical play of incredible synchronicity, had begun!”

“The surest sign of progress towards the realisation of Truth is rapidly increasing, expanding energy. In the process of awakening, your eyes are opening wide, your pupils open to the maximum, your jaw drops, opening your mouth, the skin on top of your skull might begin to shiver, the hairs begin to tremble, to move, to stand on their ends, for you begin to see and experience the greatest miracle to which you were blind before. You start to sense the arrival of your True Beloved, who easily can destroy ‘you’ and ‘your world’ with the mighty vibrations of Her incomparable terrific beauty and overwhelming Love. You are in a state of childlike wonder and astonishment at what you are seeing and experiencing. Some great metamorphosis begins with your visual perceptions. So-called ‘objective reality’ gradually loses its objectivity and turns into a glowing, shimmering abstraction. The false sense of distance fades away and you begin to feel that there is nothing separate, or distant from you. You permeate everything with your being-consciousness-energy. The sense of solidity gives way to a sense of liquidity. You begin to experience yourself as liquid light, liquid energy, fluid-like consciousness – Divine Nectar, Ambrosia, Soma – and nothing is separate from you. Everything is connected and permeated. Any sense of direction and gravity fades away, and you feel the butterflies flapping their wings within your heart, because the ground beneath your feet is gone and you are falling or floating now into the bottomless unknown. You are wide awake!”

“Any attempts to control the flow of life energy (prana) with the aid of the mind is like teaching lovers to move in a certain restricted way to reach orgasm. Lovers are moved by Love herself!”

 “If you love Truth more than anything else, if you thoroughly understand with the might of your intellect and the totality of your being that Absolute Truth is imperishable, indestructible, unbreakable, undying, eternal, and that your True Self is this Absolute Truth, you are getting ready to let go of that which is impermanent and perishable. You are getting ready to enter the mystery beyond the point of no return. When by the grace of your Sadhana you have been brought face-to-face with Death, who is the destroyer of the false and impermanent, and who is about to annihilate ‘you’, you have the power to humbly offer yourself to Death for annihilation, knowing that the Real can never be destroyed.”

“There cannot be arguments any longer, for it is of utmost clarity now: happiness does not increase with the accumulation of wealth and material possessions! Only the True Self is all-satisfying happiness! Fools seek happiness outside themselves. Accumulating more and more objects, giving temporary pleasures, they are never fully satisfied. Like hungry ghosts, craving more and more, but never able to appease their hunger, they are perpetually circling in the illusive ‘samsara’ (repetitive cyclic existence). I have seen rich people dying of boredom in the midst of luxury and entertainment, and I have seen poor simple village folks filled with joy and I have seen sadhus (holy men) soaked in Soma (Divine nectar), radiating peace, contentment and bliss. True unalloyed happiness and absolute satisfaction can only be found within oneself. The True Self is overflowing abundance. Lacking nothing, everything emanates from it. The True Self filled with excessive joy is the everlasting source of perennial giving. Wanting nothing for itself, because of its fullness, it pours itself out as a flood of love and joy. Even in the scorching heat of a desert, the Self-immersed one, basks in the refreshing streams of Divine ambrosia. Only within One’s True Self is everlasting happiness and absolute satisfaction. Happiness belongs to the Self-sufficient!”

“Looking into the radiant eyes of my beloved Tara, after the Divine Ecstasy of Love-making, in which we reached the utmost intimacy in which it wasn’t possible any longer to differentiate who was who, but only to feel One Love that moved our bodies in a most tender ecstatic dance, I saw the bottomless ocean of utmost trust and openness with the waves of pure love and light radiating tenderly from its greatest depths. The universe with countless ‘others’ no longer existed for us, for we had entered the majestic Universe of Love. The two of us became a complete whole universe. The waves of love exuding from my beloved’s eyes, her radiant heart and every pore of her beautiful body washed away the remaining haze of uncertainties. We saw each other with the eyes of our naked souls in our utmost purity and the beauty of our innocence.”

“I no longer have any doubts that of the many paths to the summit of Self-realisation, one of the most beautiful is the path of the intense unconditional love of a couple. When the relationship is ripe and pregnant with the energy of mature love, the very act of love-making, which in its intensity and magnitude is far beyond adolescent, immature sex, can take a couple by the potency of their utmost trust in each other and their surrender to ‘Love that Moves’, through the ecstasy of the spontaneous Love-dance, into the utmost intimacy. In such a state, there are no longer two individuals making love, but One Love that ecstatically moves their beautiful passionate bodies through an amazing sexual play of tender kisses, caresses, licks, touches, heightened breathing, moans of pleasure and love-bites accompanied by the intricate movements of the sensual lingam within the highly sensual yoni, heightens all senses and consciousness itself, and on the waves of awakening and rising Kundalini sexual energy, takes them into the dissolution of all boundaries and limitations, into the full possession of two individuals by Goddess Love into Divine Ecstasy; the absolute freedom of the Shiva-Shakti Union!

 In such love-making, a couple experiences super-heightened sensitivity (experiencing a myriad of dancing universes only in one little touch of a tiny corner of the beloved’s lips). Every pore exudes the sweetest intoxicating aromas. The skin, lips, tongue, yoni fluid tastes like Divine Amrit. The awakened bodily intuition anticipates the slightest desire and intentions of a lover. The thinking mind gets replaced by love spontaneity. The lover and beloved realise that they are making love not to each other, but to themselves. In such a heightened state, the spontaneous knowledge and mastery of perfect love-making arises naturally. The intensity of the couple’s love for each other and especially their love for the ultimate Truth provides them with the unshakable courage to surrender to the movements of Love and go beyond the boundaries of physical bodies. In the utmost intimacy of their love-making, their nuclei become so close to each other that a nuclear reaction takes place, causing two beautiful hearts to become fused into one. The tremendous energy of such fusion explodes and blows away all restrictions of space and time. They are awake as one Shiva-Shakti, and experience ecstatic Reality in their absolute freedom! They have found Oneness! They have become One – Shiva-Shakti!

 “Direct experience is the teacher of teachers! No words are needed to explain how reality works to those who have experienced its mysteries and revelations first-hand.”

“For those courageous souls whose longing for Truth is so strong that no matter what, they are ready to sacrifice themselves for it, ready to die for Truth, Kumbhaka Prana Yoga is the perfect vehicle towards the Heart of the Beloved!

 Truly, Kumbhaka Prana Yoga is a labour of Love!”

“When one’s nadi system is thoroughly purified by prolonged intense pranayamas, when it’s vitalised by the prolonged chanting of mantras, or listening to binaural beats, then, in a state of inner and outer silence, one can hear a very loud, high pitched ringing sound within one’s head. This is Shabda-nada! If then, firmly established in the thoughtless unwavering Bhairava mudra, one gives all one’s attention and concentration to listening and fully identifying with it, the sound will grow louder and louder, becoming higher pitched. If one keeps one’s identity with this sound, one will begin to experience the mighty vibrations of this sacred sound resonating within the marrow of one’s bones, trembling and shaking one’s entire being. With the sound turning into that of thunder, all ‘objective reality’ (world and body) begins to shake, fracture and finally gets shattered.”

“The gates of conscious energy swung wide open and instead of breathing, the spontaneous effortless flood of Divine language gushed in and through…”

“I could no longer make any effort or choice, for I broke through the threshold of illusion of separate identity onto the lap of the Divine Mother, who began to shower me with her sweetest grace and overwhelming love!

 She, my True Beloved, gently delivered me from the womb of illusion in her loving embrace. She took over my efforts. She fully possessed me, taking me on an astonishing ride by means of her Divine language (Pashyanti and Para Vak) into the glorious heart of love and ecstasy. I became Her!”

“Nothing can prepare one for the experience of Highest Reality. When one’s sadhana, spiritual efforts and self-sacrifice awakens the grace of Devi and she allows access to her Real Nature and strips herself of all clothing, revealing her majestic nakedness, one would never believe that such beauty, such love, such intelligence, such ecstasy and such wisdom are possible… for it is beyond imagination!”

“The Absolute is the funniest joker ever! I will dare to say that side-splitting laughter is at the very core of Reality.”

“But by far, the most impressive quality of all is the quality of Absolute Freedom. There is no one and nothing exists to limit You in any aspect. There is no Lord over You!

 And this freedom is not the impotent ‘freedom’ of witnessing consciousness, but the freedom of the absolute sufficiency of your Beloved Svatantrya Shakti. She, your inseparable consort, your Lalita Tripura Sundari, is the wish-fulfiller who keeps you forever newly born into the purest joy, gentleness, freshness, wonder and love. This boundless perfect freedom is the very source of purest joy. The infinite potency and might of Reality keeps the True Self in a state of perpetual amazement and childlike wonder at its own abilities to do and to experience anything without reserve.”

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 For those courageous souls whose longing for Truth is so strong that no matter what, they are ready to sacrifice themselves for it, ready to die for Truth, Kumbhaka Prana Yoga is the perfect vehicle towards the Heart of the Beloved!

 Truly, Kumbhaka Prana Yoga is a labour of Love!

 It is fuelled by Love, moved by Love, and oriented towards Love! It requires unshakable courage, strenuous efforts, willpower and the purest heart which is ready to die for Love! Love is the way to freedom and Love is freedom itself. If there is anything everlasting in existence, it is Love. Love is eternal. To give one’s life for Love, to die for Love and in Love is to lose the fears and limitations of the ego-self and be reborn as everlasting infinite Love herself. Love is the greatest paradox; it grows not by containing itself, but by pouring itself out. The more it gives, the bigger it grows and so it is the inexhaustible perennial flood. It is eternal because it sacrifices itself, it dies for Truth and in this sacrificial fire, like a phoenix, it is renewed and reborn again. Truth and Love are synonymous. Truth is Love! To Love means to forget about ourselves, to offer, to sacrifice our ego-selves to the Goddess Truth. Love is not always gentle and meek. Sometimes she can be terrifying in her rage, for although her submissive character allows un-truth to exist temporarily, when she gets furious, she shatters un-truth into a cloud of dust.

 Although, she is as gentle as loving mother to her child, she is the greatest force in existence, capable of destroying crores of universes in one big bang! She is the Creator; she is the protector and she is also the destroyer! She assumes forms and plays within them, and in her longing to experience her highest might she rips these suffocating clothes into pieces. Love is the origin and destination. Love is the meaning of life. Without sweet love, life is a burden.

 Why do you want to know the Truth? Because Love is calling for you!  Love is the best gift ever! This universe exists only because of Love. Without Love it would submerge into darkness. Because of Love there is light! The sun of Love burns eternally, transforming pain into light. Love absorbs into itself darkness, coldness, and evil, turns them into the light and joy and radiates as a brilliant supernova. Love is the order and she is also chaos. Love is sanity and she is madness. Choose Love, my dear friend, she is the highest reward. Burn like a candle on the way to Love. Mount the sacrificial fire, enter the scorching flames, die and find your True Self in a cool breeze of heavenly paradise, the wonderland of Love! Become Love! 

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Prana Gita – Song of Prana

 ‘Before Time and Space are born, I am – eternal!

 Beyond logical comprehension, I am – infinite!

 Ungraspable by my own child – the mind, I am – limit-less!

 Having myself no origin, beginning-less, everything has its origin in me!

 Imperishable, death-less, end-less, I swallow creations at the end of their cycles.

 Returning to the source, all that appeared to be different loses their distinctions in the Ecstasy of Oneness.

 The Heart of Reality has no differentiation, I – The Supreme Energy – Para Shakti are one and the same with The Supreme Intelligence – Shiva.

 Some say that we (Shiva and Shakti) are “One”, yet others say that we are “Two”, but in truth we are both “One” and “Two” at the same time, for we are beyond logical constrictions and the limitations of laws.

 We are the unsolvable mystery, infinite and eternal!

 As Shakti, I am the Mother of Creation.

 I do not think, or plan how to create, for my very nature is Divine Intelligence and as such I do not require an effort to manifest.

The Divine Intelligence simply streaming on the currents of my fluid energy like a divine nectar streaming perpetually from the inexhaustible source.

 I am “The Mover”, but I move effortlessly!

 I am Love that moves!

 I have no will of my own, for I am (Purnam) – The Absolute Fullness itself and there is nothing I can possibly want, or desire, for I possess everything and lack nothing.

 As the very nature of Love is to give, to shine, to radiate, my ecstatic fullness surges, floods, and expands into infinity.

 My Movement is the incomparable Ecstasy!

 As I move in ecstasy, the Supreme Language is born!

 This Creative Language is nothing else, but the expression of my ecstatic movements.

 This Supreme Language (Para-Vak, Logos, Malini, Matr’ka, Mantra) is the origin of all ‘knowledge’ and the building blocks of all apparent creations.

  By the potency of this Divine Language the unfolding creations are both: pre-determined and yet free to change!

 As the Spanda (creative vibration-throb) ripples from the Heart of Reality and produces Divine Language creating the Ideation and the Knowledge, the objective manifestations shapes into perceptions.

 I am known by thousands of names, each attributed to one of my arrays of qualities.

 As Lalita, I like to play my favourite game of “hide and seek” by temporarily blinding my beloved Shiva with my marvellous display. By the power of identification with the objectified image, I lead him into the belief and the sense of temporarily identity with the separated object (Jiva) in one of the lower orders of my infinite creation, simultaneously veiling our True Nature.

My Magical Language entraps such sparks of intelligence (Jivas) in the bubble of the “objective knowledge”.

My daughters Shakties – energies presiding over the letters of my Supreme Alphabet are free to choose which Jivas (Souls) to drawn further into the deep waters of Samsara (cyclic existence) by the power of arranging of words and sentences conveying the meanings into some certain sequences forming certain types of knowledge and which to save from the illusory creation according to theirs (Souls) predispositions, desires and longings.

Every Jiva (Soul) in reality is of course Shiva himself, who under my spell has temporarily forgotten his real nature.

Experiencing the limitations of lower planes of creation, he is no longer free and spontaneous.

Like a fly trapped and cocooned in a spider-web, he is now cocooned in “objective knowledge” and the “body-experience” woven by the multitudes of words and meanings.

 This Creation, although unsubstantial and ephemeral like a dream, nevertheless appears as a solid reality due to the infinite capabilities of Supreme Intelligence-Energy.

To free himself from these illusory restrictions, Shiva, who temporarily takes himself to be an “individual” separated from the whole, must apply the discriminative logic and right efforts, for although the walls of Maya are illusory, they cannot be broken without the right discrimination and correct efforts.

I have eternity at my disposal, and so my games are infinite!

I leave many clues in my games for Jiva-Shiva to find his way back to the ecstasy of our Union.

I myself am the ultimate Satguru!

For those who begin to know me better, for those who, with their sacred efforts penetrate deeply into my inner dimensions, I – The Supreme Energy am the surest guide to the Divine Rapture of Sublime Truth!

O, what a joy it is, when after the years of exile on lower planes of existence, after his unquenchable longing and search for truth, Shiva finally wakes up from the dream to Reality!

This triumphant moment is worth of a life-game of uncertainty and difficulties.  

I – Shakti am always present and reside as the very essence of all creation as Prana Shakti – the life-energy.

 I as Indra – Lord of Indriyas (senses) project myself outwardly through the senses and appear as the solid outside world.

 At the time of death, I withdraw senses one by one back within myself.

 Not knowing my Supreme State, ignorant see me in my gross form of ‘Vayu’ (wind, air) of inhalation and exhalation.

 Wise, who worship me, who begin to know me as their Satguru (inner guru), who, falling in love with me, who seek union with me, directly realise me through the Yoga of Supreme Identity to be their very Self.

 When riding on my powerful currents into the source of life – mystery, into the origin of creation… my beloveds, who are longing wholeheartedly for the union with me realise me as their own Supreme Reality.

 Through the growing identity with me they lose their sorrows, their boundaries, their wrong knowledge, their minds (the seeds of misery) and their illusory ‘identities’ in the ecstasy of my True Nature.

 Plunging deeply into the subatomic expansion of awareness, my beloveds realise me as “Para-Vak”– the Supreme Language – the source of all Knowledge.

 Their sweet efforts of offering their minds and their very lives to me melts my heart, and I am rushing towards them, tormented with the pain of separation.

 When the illusion of duality melts away as a result of their courageous efforts of self-sacrifice, of offering their very “sanity” unto me – “The Unknown”, I take over their beautiful efforts and begin to shower them in the delightful Soma Rain.

 I am washing off their persistent delusions in my refreshing Amrita.

 I am brushing off all suffocating dust of wrong knowledge.

 I am purifying their being from the remnants of fears, doubts and uncertainties.

 As Kundalini, I am rising upward through the main Sushumna Nadi from the Muladhara to the Sahashrara, melting with my heat all-satisfying Amrita Nectar in the cranium and burning with my Radiant Purifying Fire all veils of illusion.

 I dance as Kali, playing with the Garlands of Letters of my Supreme Alphabet, destroying the notions of time and space.

 I am Malini, Matr’ka – (Mother of Realities) pregnant with True Knowledge, Wisdom and Infinite Creativity.

 I am the very Life of Awareness, the agitator of Consciousness, the “Spandana – throb”.

 I am Shiva’s heartbeat!

 I am Kumari – the most desirable One, the sweetest Love-maker.

 I am Lalita – the playful One.

 I am Bala – Sodashi – forever young.

 I am Tripura Sundari – Goddess of Transcendental Beauty in all three worlds.

 I am the Creatrix of All that Is and all that appears to be.

 Union with me is Divine Ecstasy!

 Knowledge of me is Euphoria!

 I am Your very Life!

 I am Your very Self!

 I am You!

 Oh, My Beloved!!!

 You are Supreme Shiva!

 I am Your Eternal Spouse.

 Your Shakti!

 Your Creativity!

 Your True Love!

 Your Dance!

 Your Uma-Parvati!

 Your Wish-fulfiller!

 Your Prana!’